WTF Is Going On With Friends In Our Twenties?

Why Is It So Damn Hard To Make Friends In Our Twenties?

By Sophia LaRocca

Published, August 1st, 2024

Ok, let’s get to the point, why is it so damn hard to make friends in our twenties? It seems like after we leave High school, more then half of our friends leave the coop. They go off to college, get other jobs, move, and it’s a complete 180 for us. We’re used to seeing these people everyday and suddenly… we’re not.

They slowly begin to die off one by one, taken by college or jobs, some friends stay, some friends go. I can’t tell you how to keep them, but I could tell you why they leave. It’s just the simple facts of life.

Life after high school still has me in shell shock, and I’m almost 22. (Urgh.) But believe me, I’m still struggling. It seems year after year we lose more friends. I have about six friends left from High School, and that’s really good! Most people come out with two. I’m in the process of figuring out how to go to college in person, but I can’t imagine going to school at 22 and having to start over. But I’m foaming at the mouth to make new friends. But that’s what it is, isn’t? Starting over. Just like a relationship. Everytime one ends, we have to start over with another one.

We crave relationships with people that think like us, act like us, like the same things we do. I do too, Because it seems like none of my friends have anything in common with me anymore. And that’s normal. Unfortunately, as you get older, people come and go. That’s just life. Especially friends. People become toxic, even you become toxic! Sometimes things just fall apart. And it’s painful.

I haven’t talked to one of my best friends in four months. She moved. And I don’t know what happened, she just stopped answering me. And let me tell you, it was like sitting next to a flower and watching it die. It’s painful. I still cry about it. I’m hoping one day she’ll reach out, or I’ll just keep doing it. Sometimes I can’t bare not being around her, or the fact that I may not see her again. Sometimes I wonder how proud she’d be of me starting this blog.

Losing friends suck. Sometimes it’s worse than a breakup.

But much like a breakup, we have to get back onto the horse. So, I downloaded, Bumble BFF.

How the fuck did I get here?

Why do people in my generation feel the need to literally download an app to make friends. It’s sad! It’s not our fault though, my question is, why do we have to. I can’t believe I needed to download an app to make friends! It’s shallow, how are you judging these people? Who are you to judge these people on weather they’d be a good friend? I’m in no place. You don’t even know them yet!

That’s why it was easier in High school, because we’d see the same people everyday, forced to be in the same room with them. You were bound to make friends. Even sometimes where you work you can make friends. But let me tell you… my place of employment? Not that easy. Now I’m not going to bash anyone, or say anything harsh, but let’s just say it’s not the most healthy work environment. That’s a nice way of putting it, I’m feeling generous.

So no, work isn’t always like school. Especially if you’re working in a field you’re not quite interested in like me. Often people become friends when they have something in common. And the co workers I do spend everyday with I do quite enjoy their company. (Thank God.) But we don’t always have things in common, we’re also in very different stages in our lives, I’m one of the youngest that works there. But I’m thankful for the few I could trust and talk to. But sometimes I think the friendship needs to leave work as well. Do you think you have to hang out with someone outside of work to consider them your friend?

Let’s face the facts. I’m pretty sure my best friend is a five year and my Mom. So… that’s that.

I think Covid really screwed my generation up. We lost two and a half vital years socially. We got used to staying home and being intoriverted. More then before! And now we’re used to it. Now nobody wants to go out! It’s insane!

So either you have to download an app or go to college to make friends.

I rather go to college.

So I’m paying a tuition for a mediocre degree and friends. Great.

My question is, when do you meet your core group of friends. The ones that stick, ya know? When do you meet them? Where is my Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda, ya know.

Do I truly have to wait until my thirties to find good friends?

It makes no sense.

Maybe you need to be settled to find friends who are settled as well, so you could be… settled together.

It makes sense.

Sometimes I just want to spend time with people who have the same interests as me. Who want to go out and have fun, because it seems like no one else does anymore. And I see all these girls in college, going out to bars and parties with their friends and I want it so bad. So bad. I want the normal college expirince. More than anything.

And I know it’s scary making new friends, but I rather do it then stay at home waiting. I can’t wait anymore. I need to go out and live. You need to find people to go out and live with though. So I say do it. Even though I’m against it, download the app, go to college, go to college events, go to parties, do everything you can. That’s how people meet.

Friends in your twenties is a complicated subject. You lose a lot, and you gain a lot. Sometimes for no reason. Your twenties is a crazy time, and it seems like it just gets crazier, but Sometimes it’s nice to know, certain people will always be around though.